September 18th, 2014

Gone (maybe) but Certainly Not Forgotten

by JoeDubin
Question for you.  When is the last time you sent a fax?  Be honest now, the last time you actually sent one. On top of that, if you did send a fax, did you ask for help? Again, be honest.  It is OK because most of us, if not all us, need help when it comes to sending a fax. 
 
With email and fancy video conferencing and the advancement in technology, the fax machine is long gone, for the most part, but certainly not forgotten.  At least in the world of college football, the fax machine might just be the most important thing to a program. Not even kidding.l 
 
The reason is that on national signing day, all of these colleges wait for the fax from their prospects to come through.  Once it does, they are officially committed to that program.  The fax machine is the life blood, for one day, of that program.  From Alabama to Florida, to Vandy to MTSU and all down the line, that fax machine becomes the most important 'person' to the school.  
 
So with that, we have an exclusive interview with the University of Tennessee's football fax machine. 
 
Joe:  Thanks for taking time out to join us today.  You have to be exhausted today right? 
 
Fax Machine:  Joe, that is an exceptional question.  Yes, I am a little tired today.  Been not so busy the last 3 years when that 'other' guy was here, but I enjoy the work.  Plus, it is always good to be wanted and Coach Jones, well lets just say, he got a lot of love for me yesterday.  
 
Joe:  I find it fascinating that you have been around for 170 years. Alexander Bain first patented you back in 1843.  Had no idea you had been around that long.  
 
Fax Machine:  Joe, again, great question.  Yes, 170 years.  In fact, the first fax was from Betty White to Bud Adams.  Kidding, but not really.  Yep, we have a long history.  Sadly though, these days, we only get love one day a year. 
 
Joe:  But that is a lot of love on that one day.  In fact, your name got mentioned more times on national signing day, than any one else.  It's gotta be a warm feeling.   How did it feel? 
 
Fax Machine:  My God Joe, great question again.  You are like Oprah and 60 Minutes rolled into one person.  But yes, I was watching ESPNU and if you were playing a drinking game every time they said 'Fax Machine,' you were drunk by 8 AM, EST.  
 
Joe:  What scares you?  What keeps you up and on at night?  
 
Fax Machine:  Joe, that is deep.  Very deep.  Now you are like Barbara Walters.  What scares me?  Hmm, power outages for one.  Very scary.  Paper.  Not having enough paper in me. 
 
Joe:  What makes you laugh? 
 
Fax Machine:  Derek Dooley.  He had no idea what I was, or what my purpose was or what I was doing here.  Of course, I could have said the same thing for him.  
 
Joe:  So what do you do now for 364 days? 
 
Fax Machine:  Chill for one.  Maybe some of those pretty girls from the athletic department will come push a few of my buttons.  Hahaha.  Seriously, though, I will pray that I am not on a shelf, up in a cabinet, somewhere, lost forever.  
 
Joe:  I know you are busy and tired, but thank you for your time. 
 
Fax Machine:  Joe, anytime for you. But I do want to do one thing before they toss me into a junk pile.  I wanna play a cop on a TV show.  I wanna talk to a witness and when she starts rambling say, 'Just the fax ma'am.  Just the fax please.' 
 
Joe:  Dear God, I have hit a new low. 
 
Fax Machine:  Not really.  You could be a Kardashian.
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